


Blood In My Veins

by Thomina



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27040912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomina/pseuds/Thomina
Summary: Dear Diary. Let my words flow through your pages. Hold my secrets close to your core. Listen carefully and never speak; Of pain and heartbreak, Of laughter and love.





	Blood In My Veins

Blood in my veins

Dear Diary.

Let my words flow through your pages.

Hold my secrets close to your core.

Listen carefully and never speak; Of pain and heartbreak, Of laughter and love.

Dear Diary.

It's been one thousand, ninety six days.

I'm still not over him.

I thought my decision was final. I thought this year, I won't go there. I know he is not coming back.

I did try to distract myself, believe me, I tried. I sat in the driver's seat; foot on the pedal, I moved.

No sooner had I started driving than I found myself gazing over the same sea.

The same place he left me waiting to this day.

The grains of sand slipped From between of my fingers. The same way he did.

The same cold breeze from that faithful day.

I closed my eyes and thought back to him.

He was sitting beside me. Looking at the sea but not really seeing it. He's mind was far away.

His silence made me nervous.

I let my finger brush against his briefly. I was so obsessed with his love. I still am.

To my relief, ghost of a smile graced his lips. His fingers curled around mine; because two cold hands can certainly warm up each other.

He lowered his head to look me in the eye fondly. But I didn't miss the sadness behind his gaze.

His smile didn't falter even as I frowned. He knew that I knew.

The waves hit our feet and distracted him. My heart fluttered in my chest. He was like a small child with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I wanted to protect him. To take care of him. To hold him close and never let go.

His calm, soft voice interrupted my thoughts.

:"Do you know why I like the sea so much?"

I didn't answer immediately. I searched his face for something that wasn't there.

:"Why?" Voice barely a whisper, I answered.

I despised answering a question with another question, but I was too tired of his games.

If he was surprised, he didn't show it :"It reminds me of you."

I couldn't help but burst into mad, hysterical laughter.

:"That's it? Seriously? You couldn't find anything better to compare me with? My hair and eyes are BLACK! For goodness' sake, you honestly suck at being romantic." I spat out the last part angrily.

His facial expression didn't change but I could see the pain in his eyes.

I didn't mean to hurt him. Anything that hurt him hurt me as well. But I wanted to hurt him, because he was hurting me; Although he had promised that no harm will ever come to me under his watch.

He continued; Softy, fondly, the way he only ever has spoken to me and no one else :"This is the place where I first saw you. You didn't see me, Too busy licking your favourite cherry ice cream. But your face got carved in my mind. How could I ever forget you?"

I turned away my head with guilt.

He wasn't fazed :" After getting to know you, It became even more significant. You are always calm and collected. Gentle even toward your enemies. But you can be stormy as well, and drown everything and everyone. Exactly the way I love it."

I choked out a helpless laugh as the tears finally flow :"And you're still leaving me"

:"Please, love. You know I can't stay." He whispered, holding to my shoulder.

:" Why can't you? Please, I'll do anythin-"

:"This is not about you. You have made your choice. You have made your love clear. Now It's my turn to do the same for you." He pleaded.

:" But you don't need to! I know about your problems and I want to be with you. Isn't that enough?!" I pleaded back.

:" Please. Don't make this any harder than it is." His voice cracked and tears flew.

I froze in shock. Then buried myself in his shirt. He hold me tight and continued.

:" You already proved your love to me. But If I don't do the same for you, then how can I ever call you mine? I respect your choice. You want to stay with me, understood. But here, I have a choice to make and if you truly love me. Trust my decision. Respect it, knowing it is my way of showing you love. You deserve to be Happy."

I had stopped crying :" So do you."

He laughed and shook his head:" Sweet as always."

I scowled:" It wasn't funny."

He sighed:" I want to part with you on good terms. Why can't you do the same?"

I raised my head and gazed deep into his eyes.

I shivered. He slowly took off his jacket and wrapped me in it. Not breaking eye contact.

Our lips met and parted. Sweet and warm.

Before I could make a move, he got up and walked away, without a backward glance. I watched him go. I let him leave.

I opened my eyes and I was back to present. He was still gone. His jacket still around me. Still smelling like him.

I don't think I will ever quite get over him.

He was my everything.

But I respect his choice even if I never understand it's meaning.

Because he said that's love.

Because he loved me that way.

The waves gently caress my feet.

The sea reminds me of him.

I internally scream.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my work. I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Feel free to review or criticize my story. Anything that can help me do better as a writer is much appreciated and welcomed with open arms.


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